Spiritual Banking Crisis...a must read.

This is an article recently written by Dennis Jernigan, a christian musician and songwriter. It spoke directly to me where I am in life, trying to minister to some homeless folks who have become my friends. I hope that it will minister to you as well.

"Today’s world financial institutions find themselves in a major crisis…but that is not what this article is about! Lately, I have been asked on several occasions how to minister to someone who is bound up in some besetting sin or another (in my world, that usually means someone who struggles with same sex attraction, but the principles I am sharing apply to any ministry situation).

Today, while fielding questions from students at a Christian University in Southern California, someone made this statement. “How do you minister to someone who struggles with same sex attraction when they find so much validation in the gay world?” That’s a great question. My answer?

It all boils down to relationship.

I know many believers who have a very real and deep interest in ministering to the needs of other people…who sincerely believe they have the answers people need to hear. And for the most part, they do. Many believers also like to see those they are ministering to suddenly ‘see the light’ and begin to walk in freedom from ‘whatever’ – and who doesn’t? But I also run across many who seem to become easily frustrated with those they minister to. “Why can’t they see what I see? Why don’t they change like I did? What’s their problem?” I have personally watched seasoned believers throw their hands up in frustration and simply cut off the one (whether intentionally or not) they are trying to minister to.

I am personally not surprised at this, given the ‘I want it and I want it now’ attitude of our American culture. We want instant gratification. We want our food fast. We want out car loans approved the minute we choose our new car. We want the latest, greatest video game and we want it now. We want that new song and we download the mp3 within seconds of the release. We have grown quite accustomed to having what we want when we want it…and, as a result, I am afraid have allowed that attitude to permeate our ministry styles. Somehow, relationship –real living, thriving relationship – does not fit all that well in the digital age of instant gratification.

So how do we minister to someone who finds validation from their peers? How do we penetrate the world with God’s love? One thing we need to remember: God’s love always trumps validation. Validation (and we all need it in one way or another) is not love. Love overcomes fear of rejection. Love overcomes our need to meet our needs in ways other than God intended. Love does not flatter because love gets to the deepest, basic human need – to be known and to know. This is called relationship. If we truly desire to minister to someone, we must begin investing in the lives of others in a relational way. It’s like putting money in the bank.

Mind you, I LOVE ministering to large groups of people because I can get the word out about the hope and freedom I found in knowing Jesus intimately. In large settings I am able – to a very small degree – to build a momentary relationship with those I am sharing with…and that is valid and good. But through the years, I have found the most profound ministry I have been privileged to be involved in has come through one on one relationship. After all, Jesus spent more time building relationships than in His public speaking ministry. How much time do you think He spent just ‘being’ with people and with just getting to know them as opposed to the amount of time He spent preaching? I believe the time He spent with the disciples and others was vastly greater than the amount of time He spent in preaching. Could that be a clue for us as ministers?

When ministering to an individual, I see the time and effort I spend in pouring my life into that relationship much like investing in the savings account of their heart. When I invest time, and effort, and support, and real interest in their life it is like I eventually build up enough of an account that there comes a time when I have the freedom to make withdrawals from that account. In other words, I build a real relationship based on trust to the point where the other party has absolutely no doubt that I love them and they trust that I have their best interests at heart. It is when that account is full that I can speak truth into their life because I know THEY know I will not reject them – regardless of whether they receive my great wisdom or not. My love does not depend on their level of freedom or spirituality. And that speaks volumes. But relationship takes time and it takes effort…and that flies in the face of our cultural need for instant gratification.

There have been many times (too numerous to count!) when people with good intentions have spoken some ‘truth’ to me expecting me to respond a certain way, only to be ‘appalled’ at my reluctance to heed their word to me. During some of those encounters I have had to gently say to the person ‘I appreciate your concern for me but I find it difficult to believe you really care about me since you have not ever taken the time to get to know me.’ What I have found is that, often in such situations, I am actually being manipulated by a spiritually abusive person (a controller). The reason I share that is because we do that to lost and hurting people all the time. We who have a Christian world view sometimes have a ‘holier than thou’ attitude as well. “If they do not want my advice or ministry then forget it!”

What would Jesus do?

This was brought home to me in a very real and personal way back in 1981. A good friend discovered that I was struggling with same sex attraction…and did not try to fix me instantly! In his wisdom he said this: “I do not know all the answers to freedom. I just know THE Answer – Jesus. I will walk toward Jesus with you…for however long it takes…through whatever storms you must face. When you fall I will help you up. When you hurt I will hold you. When you need a shoulder to cry on I will be there.” I had to go OUTSIDE of the church to have the love of God demonstrated to me in a tangible way! Someone offered relationship rather than a sermon…and I latched on to that! In fact, just to show you how real and honest that person was, they still make that commitment to me TO THIS DAY! That’s love! That love led me to repentance! Repentance led me to freedom and hope! And because my friend has been willing to consistently invest in my heart and life, he has the freedom to make withdrawals when necessary…to speak truth when I walk in error…to remind me of Whose and who I am when I walk in fear or loneliness…to find the same encouragement from my heart back to his.

I have a friend I have been investing in for about four years now. He was addicted to crank for 17 years. He was a biker. He was a fighter. He is rough around the edges. I saw others at church gatherings avoid him. I saw this once strong physical specimen of a man beaten down by health issues and no one go visit him in the hospital…because the good Christians had given up on him…thought him too coarse…thought him less than desirable to be around. All I did was go see him in the hospital and begin calling to check on him…and found a man who had been so in need of a real friend but so disillusioned by the church that he had all but given up hope. I also discovered that his coarseness was actually a defense mechanism. If he behaved in a way that Christians found objectionable then he could count on Christians to reject him – and he could freely say, “See. I told you so. Christians are no different than anyone else. They just care about themselves and how others perceive them.” I simply decided to prove him wrong!

What I have discovered in the process of simply loving my friend is that love breaks through barriers that logic and wisdom cannot. I have lived a lot of life and have learned a few things…but what people need more than what I know is that I care that they exist. That is what investing our time and effort and money and friendship does for others. They realize they are worth knowing. That’s like money in the bank my friend! That love and expression of worth to others breaks barriers and brings opportunities for true freedom and hope and salvation for those we take the time to invest in. Sometimes the quickest way into the heart of another is an investment of time. Are we in this for the long haul or are we in this for just another notch on our spiritual belt?

Do you really want to minister to others? Do you see others as worth your time? Would you be willing to walk into their world with the love of God? That friend I told you about loves NASCAR – LOVES it! I know nothing about it and it makes no sense to me…but I ask him to teach me about the drivers and the cars and the races and the racetracks. That is what Jesus would do – spend time in their world. Would Jesus go to a gathering of homosexuals and befriend them? I think so. Would he go into a bar and have a beer with a lonely heart? I think so. Would he invite a poor family over for dinner? You know it. Would He spend time with a man struggling with addiction? He would.

I get to talk with a lot of different people via the internet (MySpace, Facebook, etc.) who struggle with homosexuality who tell me they will never darken the door of a church for fear of rejection! That’s not right! Shouldn’t the church be the first place people look to for hope? There is definitely a spiritual banking crisis that I think mirrors the financial crisis we face in our world right now. For the past 2 years I have encouraged this friend I mentioned to look beyond the way people treated him and simply love them and serve them the way he would want to be loved and served. One recent Sunday morning he finally had enough of the rejection and walked away from the duty he had been fulfilling there…and NOT ONE PERSON has called to check on him!

Jesus did not command us to bring people into the walls of the church building and there they would find salvation. Rather, He commanded us to GO AND MAKE DISCIPLES. Could it be that in our desire to be seeker sensitive we have in reality just delegated our responsibilities to be ministers of reconciliation to the church staff and leadership team on a Sunday morning? Whatever happened to equipping the SAINTS for ministry? Whatever happened to the Great Commission? Could it be it does not fit our cultural need for instant gratification? I don’t know. I’m just asking the questions. What I do know is this: Jesus, while on this earth, invested His life in others. To invest our lives in the lives of others is a wise investment…an investment born of relationship that, if we are patient and loving, will lead to salvation, freedom, and hope for those we invest our lives in. Let’s stop the spiritual banking crisis by pouring the wealth of all God has done in our lives into the lost and dying right next to us…where we work…where we shop…where we get our oil changed…where our kids go to school…where we live.
Dennis Jernigan
(I am Dennis Jernigan and I approve this message)"

Political Rant

This guy is great - he is a true critical thinker, and presents a conservative viewpoint in a clear and relevant manner where anyone can understand it. GREAT stuff.

The Unexpected

So this weekend has been interesting. Very good, but interesting. God really took me out of my comfort zone this weekend. Being the second friday of the month, we did the monthly City Rescue Mission micromission trip. If you don't know what that is, every month I take anywhere from 35 to 70 LifeChurch volunteers to the City Rescue Mission, where we do a LifeChurch service for the homeless clients there. We generally have anywhere from 100 to 200 people show up for the service. God always meets us there in a big way, and each month in a different way. This month, he really stretched thing. Or, should I say, He really stretched ME! Normally, our worship band will do a few warm-up songs, and then play the worship set. Then I will do a short welcome/intro, where I tell them who we are, what the message will be about, etc., then we play a dvd of one of many of pastor Craig's archived messages. Normally I try to select a mesage each month that I feel will speak to the hearts of the homeless. We have been doing it this way for a couple of years. There have been a couple of occasions that a person here or there, especially Camerson Wilson, have encouraged me to preach once in a while, but I have never had the courage to do so. It seems like each month, we ALWAYS have some kind of technical problems, as the equipmet there at the rescue mission is pretty crummy, but we somehow always find a way to make last minute repairs that get us through the night. Well, this month was different. The coaxial cable from the projector (that is hanging from the 25 foot ceiling) that we always plug into our laptop for the song lyrics and the message BROKE. PERMANENTLY. So in other words, we were singing without lyrics to the song, and we were not able to play the dvd. SO, yours truly, being the leader of the trip, had to come up with a solution FAST. And the only solution being that I had to get up onstage and PREACH! And needless to say, I was NOT prepared for that! I have known for a long time that we might someday have a malfunction that required me to speak off-the-cuff, and knew that I should prepare a short message to always have ready, but being the procrastinator that I am, I kept putting it off. Not good. Because here I was with a hundred people looking to ME to do something, say SOMETHING! Now, let me say that normally, I am not nervous at all about getting up on stage at the City Rescue Mission, because it's only for a couple of minutes, and it's only to intro the message, or to do the "altar call." This time, let me assure you, I was NERVOUS! Try as I may, I couldn't come up with what I wanted to talk about. So I prayed, VERY earnestly, "God, I don't know what to say. Please, just fill me, and speak through me. Let the message be what these people need to hear." And I still didn't know what I wanted to say when I stepped up there. But I had faith that God would come through when I needed Him to. When His people needed Him to. And come through He did! Referring to our technical difficulties, I began to talk about when we all experience times in our lives when things don't go the way we expect them to, or when things don't go the way we want them to. I talked about how we handle those times, whether we turn to God, or whether we turn to the things of this world to ease our pain in troubled times. I talked about how nothing else would heal our pain or satisfy our souls but a relationship with God. I talked about how no one is too far gone, or too screwed up for God to transform their lives. I talked about how He created each one of us uniquely, and how He has an amazing plan and purpose for each of our lives. I talked about how much He loves each and every person there, and that becoming a christian didn't mean that they will wake up in the morning and have a new house, a job, and a nice car, and that life will be a cakewalk from now on. I told them that they will still have earthly, physical struggles. But that the difference is, that now, instead of confusion, they have peace. Instead of despair, they have hope. Where there was once pain, God will bring healing. Where they are weak, He will be strong. It was an amazing, anointed time, and I could literally feel God's presence there. When it was all said and done, 12 people gave their hearts to Jesus that night. And God showed Himself faithful and true to me in a new way. He took me to a new level Friday night. And I understood more than ever, when He is involved, it is never rote or routine. And I understood more than ever, that it is SO not about me - that regardless of how I might plan the trip or the service, that HE has a bigger plan, and His plans ALWAYS trump my plans! He orchestrated the night the way HE wanted. And it was GOOD. And I guess that He is going to continue to stretch me, because until and unless the projector gets fixed (fat chance), I am going to have to preach each month from now on! I think He's trying to tell me something......
When is a time that God has stretched you or used you in a way you didn't think was possible? And what was the outcome?

I was just thinking the other day that everywhere I turn, someone else is promoting their new book. And as much as I admire Craig Groeschel, even he seems to always be writing a new book. It can be overwhelming to keep up with the crowd, making sure you're up to speed on the newest literary works by all the up-and-coming leaders of the church world. But as I was unpacking a few of our things since we recently moved, I came across a priceless treasure I had forgotten I owned. It is a leather bound compilation of several books by Jack London. My grandparents, my mom's parents, gave it to me for Christmas in 1985. Yup, you read that right: 1985! The book is 23 years old! It's older than my wife! Oops...... ha ha I had to throw that in there Ashley - love you! Just checking to see if you still read my blog. Anyway, I began reading "The Call of the Wild," and was absolutely engrossed and mesmerized. I could hardly put the book down. As I read along, I couldn't help but think that John Eldredge must LOVE this book. Jack London has a way of holding the reader's attention that I haven't experienced in a LONG time. I couldn't help but continue reading on and on, caught up in the story of Buck, a gentle, tame southern dog captured and turned sled dog in the wilds of Alaska. When I finally put the book down to go to sleep, I had a renewed appreciation of the classics that I hadn't had in a long time. What are some classic books that you really enjoy, or that you enjoyed as a child?

The Warrior God

The following is an excerpt from one of John Eldredge's books.  I really like this passage, so I'm posting it here.  Enjoy!

I don’t fully understand the modern church’s amnesia-plus-aversion regarding one of the most central qualities of God understood for centuries before us: 

The LORD is a warrior; the LORD is his name. (Ex. 15:3 NIV) 

The LORD will march out like a mighty man, like a warrior he will stir up his zeal; with a shout he will raise the battle cry and will triumph over his enemies. (Isa. 42:13 NIV) 

But the LORD is with me like a mighty warrior; so my persecutors will stumble and not prevail. (Jer. 20:11 NIV) [The NASB translates mighty warrior “dread champion.” Goliath was a dread champion; the mighty men of David were dread champions. King James has it as “a mighty terrible one.”] 

Lift up your heads, O you gates; be lifted up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in. Who is this King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle. (Ps. 24:7–8 NIV) 

Our God is a warrior, mighty and terrible in battle, and he leads armies. It is this God that man is made in the image of. I spoke of this in Wild at Heart, but some things bear repeating, because a man will be in a much better place to enter the stage of the Warrior if he knows this is thoroughly grounded in Scripture, supported by Scripture, compelled by Scripture. 

(The Way of The Wild Heart , 138

A little story of God's provision....

The Oklahoma State Fair ended this past Sunday, and while we did not go this year, it reminded me of an amazing way that God showed me how much he loves me. 3 years ago, when I was a single dad, the state fair came around, and I was BROKE. And I mean BROKE. I was really struggling to make ends meet, and I had just enough money to pay for admission. I had no money to pay for food, or games, or rides. So I told Elisabeth and Tori that we would go, and that we would do all the free stuff - look at the animals in the livestock barns, the car show, made in Oklahoma building, etc. They were pretty bummed about not being able to do anything "fun" but they really had pretty good attitudes about it. So we went, and I became pretty frustrated because we got a horrible parking spot, and had to walk a LONG way. Then we were waiting in a VERY long line for tickets, and there was a very long line behind us as well. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a woman who looked to be in her 60's with a cane walking toward us. At first, I thought maybe she wanted to cut in line, so I offered for her to get in front of us so she wouldn't have to stand so long to wait for tickets. She thanked me for the offer, but said she had 3 tickets she needed to get rid of, because her grand daughters were supposed to come with her, but they were sick. So I offered to buy her tickets, but she refused to let me pay her, and said that she wanted to give them to someone who could use them. I thanked her profusely, and was very grateful for the tickets, to say the least! She left, and the girls and I got out of line. As we were walking toward the entrance, I opened the envelope with the tickets, and couldn't believe what I saw! In my hand were 3 tickets to Disney on Ice, that had cost $50 EACH! And they included admission to the fair! Needless to say, I had tears streaming down my face by then, and was just overwhelmed by God's goodness. So Elisabeth, Tori, and I got to see an incredible show, for FREE, and we even had money for snacks during the show! We went to the fair as paupers, yet because we have a Father who owns everything, and who loves us immensely, we were treated like royalty. God is truly GOOD.

Short Update

Not much to report.  We did get moved into our apartment, FINALLY.  My dad and my brother Jordan helped, and we were able to get everything moved in one day on Saturday.  They were really troopers - it rained on us all day!  Ashley hates the apartment,  she is not used to apartment living.  The baby is finally moving - it is VERY cool to feel it move.  We will find out in 2 weeks whether it's a boy or a girl.  She will be 18 weeks along by then.  I'm still praying for a boy - if it doesn't have a penis yet, I'm asking God to grow one! LOL.  I have faith!!  We are joining a new life group - tonight is our first night, and the group is volunteering to sort clothes and toys at a local baby ministry.  I spent the day in Stillwater at a Landscape/Turf conference.  Kind of boring, but it was a beautiful day outside, and it was a day away from the office.  I think that's about it!  Tune in for more..... one of these days SOON I'm actually going to start posting some creative content.  

A New Season

I really feel like God is taking me and my family into a completely new season in our lives. Ashley and I are expecting our first baby, and although we are VERY excited, life has been challenging. We moved out of our house to downsize and move into an apartment, yet once we moved out of the house, the apartment wasn't ready yet, and we have been without a home for almost 2 weeks now. I feel that God is really wanting us to be completely dependent on Him. Not so easy, but I have immense peace about the situation.

A bit nostalgic...

This is something I wrote over 2 years ago, but I will re-post it here, as it fits with how I've been feeling lately.

I don't know why, but lately I have been very reminiscent, very very nostalgic. I often get lost in my childhood memories of my grandparents and great-grandparents.. My fondest music choices lately tend to be old hymns that my great-grandmother and my grandmother sang to me when I was little. I remember my grandfather, a deacon in our southern baptist church, teaching me the rye-whiskey song. (My mother didn't think it was so cute.) I remember my great-grandpa's old coin collection, and antique guns. I remember my grandpa letting me drive a real train, and stories of the Great Depression. I constantly wonder what life was like in the 1940's and 1950's. Life was so much simpler back then. I miss our family gatherings at my great-grandparents' house, when each holiday was another family reunion, as EVERYONE in the family was there. I remember my great-grandmother, a woman who once owned her own restaurant (Goldie's), baking a strawberry pie just for me each holiday because she knew how much I liked strawberries. I remember the old, musty smell of my great-grandfather's garage, and the countless treasures I found there in the antique tools, and old junk, glass pop bottles, and railroad lanterns he collected. I remember "helping" my grandpa fix lawnmowers, seeing his tanned forearms and pale white biceps, the "farmer's tan" that he got from spending hours each day as a switchman riding the trains of the Rock Island Railroad. I remember fishing for hours and hours with my grandpa and my uncle in a small aluminum boat on lake Tenkiller every summer. I remember catching the biggest fish I've ever caught in my life with my grandpa. It was a 5 pound bass that I was so proud of that I made a plaster cast of it. I remember hearing my great-grandmother tell and re-tell the story of how her father, my great-great grandfather, Gustav Berg, came to America on a boat from Sweden at the age of seventeen, knowing no English and no one, and how he eventually became a methodist circuit preacher, traveling in a horse and buggy, holding tent revivals to bring the lost to Christ. I often hold his Bible, my most cherished possession, a Swedish Bible ( I can't read it ), printed in 1842, and wonder what his life was like. I remember old Studebakers and old Chryslers were always parked in my great-grandparents' driveway. I remember my grandparents giving me my first Bible when I was baptized at the age of 6 or 7 in Southern Heights Baptist church. I remember my grandparents coming over to my house and sitting in my grandpa's lap, and he would always affectionately slap my leg and say, "How's my little man?", or "How's my favorite grandson?" (I was his only grandson - at that point I had all sisters!) As I sit pondering why I feel compelled to put these thoughts to pen and paper, I realize that my childhood was imminently blessed with memories of my grandparents and great-grandparents. These precious memories fill my grateful heart, yet my heart breaks at the same time, knowing that my daughters will never be afforded those same experiences. I can only do my part to pass along my memories and the timeless stories of an era when life was much simpler and family was the most precious commodity.

Reason For This Blog

For anyone who is taking the time to read this, let me begin by saying welcome to my blog. This is LONG overdue. I know that many people have blogs simply for the purpose of chronicling their daily lives. However, let me be clear that this blog serves a different purpose. For many years, I have enjoyed writing, as it is a talent, underdeveloped as it may be, that God has given me, and lately I have felt Him guiding me back to it. This blog will serve as a platform of introspection, a place to explore what God is doing in my heart and in my life. It will also serve as a place to post poems and prose from the past and from the present. In short, whatever God lays on my heart is what I will write. That being said, thank you again for reading, and let the blogging begin.